A break is never easy to live nor to accept. This is true whether it is you who make the decision to break and even more if the break falls on you without you will have thought about before, without having anticipated . To avoid tragedy and to avoid falling into depression, it is necessary that you agree to look things in the face when things are not in your marriage. You look the other way will not help you get better, on the contrary, the shock of the break will be even more terrible.
To preserve, you must remain attentive to the evolution of your relationship. This will allow one hand to prevent rupture trying to improve things, and also to prepare you for this break when it will seem inevitable. In both cases, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by simply taking the time to watch how your partner beforehand.
Signs # 1 – A distance is required between you
One of the signs that will be more obvious to spot is the distance will move you when your couple approaches the end of the break. Of course, you can always try to hide your face, you can always say that if you see less these days, if you share fewer things, it’s because you’re both very busy. And this may be true. Maybe you’re both caught in a new intense period in your work. But be honest with yourself: in the past, even in times of stress and job well busy schedule, you managed to make time for each other, is not it?
You can always answer the question that things have changed, that both of them you are not in the same situation and that this time you really can not reduce the time you spend at work or other. But if the two of you really wanted your story arranges, your continuous torque to last, you would take the time for you. And even if in return you should go to work early in the morning. When we love someone, we always try to find a way to spend as much time as possible with her. Even in the worst of times.
This distance can even be characterized by something even worse: by avoidance. If you feel deep inside you that your man avoids you, you must wake up. Is that it is time to take matters into your hands if you want your story arranges! Try to talk to him or to fix things if you know what the problem is. Do not delay, it may already be too late. For more than be voluntary (but perhaps unconsciously) overwhelmed by work, avoidance process is much more serious for a couple.
If your man begins to accept and even to offer evenings with friends several times a week as this was not in his usual, you can worry. If he chose to go to a movie directly after work, without telling you, you can worry. If it starts a new activity to relax as you already do not get to see you and without consulting you, you can worry. These are warning signs that you do not have to hide.
Signs # 2 – You communicate more
Obviously, if a distance is established between you it will be difficult to communicate with you. And these two signs are often parallel to each other, even if they are sometimes a little staggered. Anyway, if you see any of these signs, you need to pay attention to whether you can not see the second. As a united couple is a couple that communicates. If you do not communicate, if you swap most of you, you do not share anything important. You will lose your complicity, privacy … well, you do not become that two beings who live perhaps under the same roof, without any real interest for one another, nor to love.
To avoid this simple roommate, you should not lose contact with your man. You must continue to communicate with him. This does not mean you have to harass the phone all day, or send a lot of emails or Snapchat . You must try to stay natural, to keep the same time and means of communication before. This is not because a night you return tired from work and you prefer to go to bed than to tell him your whole day that your marriage is for a near breakdown. So do not fall into one extreme or the other.
Just do not overlook the little rituals that you had developed between you, a sweet little phrase in the morning or evening, a small sms on your first cigarette break. Never tire of telling him what you have on the heart and the good times that have marked your day. Do not you prevent having tender gestures towards him, it is also a means of communication, nonverbal anything. A kiss in the neck when you go behind him, one hand landing on his while sitting side by side … it’s all part of communication in a couple.
But who says communication also says trade. So you also need to take time to ask him how he will react when he says something, question him, encourage him to develop his ideas … In short, show him that you are interested in what he has to say is important to you. Even if you are busy, if you feel it needs to talk, do not send waltz. Take time for him. Of course, it should also give you the same time. You should always be with a view to exchange.
Signs # 3 – Your arguments lead nowhere
Too often we hear that disputes are a sign of a couple who ran out of steam and whose failure is near. This is not entirely true, we must clarify. Arguing when you are in couple is quite normal. Look around you, there is certainly no torque that never quarrel. Two people can not agree on everything, always be of the same opinion and there are times when you argue, even with just friends for no reason. Disputes sometimes it’s good for morale. But above all, good arguments are useful.
It is true that often disputes are a sign of something wrong. One thing that makes your man annoys you, you called him nicely to stop the first you more dryly the second and third ends in dispute. But in the end, you find a solution: he admits he was too far and you have too bothered you acknowledge that you are a little too sensitive right now, or you get an agreement and decide not to buy your sofa 15 minutes before closing time next time. You put yourself in agreement and in addition you then have the opportunity to reconcile: perfect.
But when your relationship starts to falter, the disputes are not at all like that there. They are beginning to be more and even appear for no apparent reason, then neither of you has really done something. In addition, they are increasingly violent: you use harsher words, chain together accusatory sentences for each other, raise the tone unusually, will make you cry to one another And sometimes … all for nothing. For nothing just because none of you wants to recognize the shared twist you, or simply because you quickly give up the argument / discussion.
And this abandonment is sometimes worse than the violence of a dispute, do not fall for it. Disputes normally have the merit of allowing each of you to empty his bag to then start on a good foundation. If you can not even do that, you can be certain that resentment will build up until nothing more will go in your relationship. A good argument is cathartic, it allows you to vent your resentment and feel better reconciliation. If in addition to the distance and lack of communication your disputes do not lead to nothing, you will need to anticipate the breakdown of your relationship.